#ThisLittleGirlIsMe

(terjemahan dalam bahasa Indonesia di bawah)

I was truly in doubt whether to post this or not, but eventually I promised my students that I’d do it. This was originally written in response to Inspiring Girls International’s invitation to participate in #ThisLittleGirlIsMe campaign. Also to mark the International Day of the Girl Child on October 11th. The day to remind us on the need to address the challenges girls face and to promote girls’ empowerment and the fulfilment of their human rights.

The little girl on the left loved book, excelled in school, and exceptional at math and science. And yet was labelled “naughty” because she asked curious questions, made funny comments, and occasionally skipped school out of boredom (then went to public library instead).

This little girl wrote poems, composed songs, and drew endlessly to escape her daily reality in Dayeuhkolot, Bandung – Indonesia. In this industrial flood-prone slum located near one of the world’s most polluted waterways, children faced poverty, chronic illnesses, early deaths, and violence. At a young age, she was subjected to multiple forms of abuse that led her to believe that she was unworthy of love and happiness.

This little girl was a dreamer. She often wondered whether she was good enough and which path to take because the road wasn’t always clear, but she never gave up dreaming. Of a happy place. Of a voyage around the world. Of being loved. Of a better life. Of being useful. Of making others happy.

The little girl on the left eventually grew into the woman on the right. A professor and Canada Research Chair, an award-winning researcher and writer, a prized and exhibited visual artist, a singer who does music, a lone walker, a globetrotter, a cancer survivor, and a tempeh-tofu lover. And, yes, she remains “naughty”.

Knowing she is worthy, she is overjoyed to discover that life will only get better as she ages. Above all, she is most grateful for the privilege of being able to contribute to the well-being of others.

This little girl learned a few things growing up, here are 10 to share with other #littlegirls:

1. Be kind and do good, always. Even when it is hard.

2. ClichĂ© but true: Be yourself, always. You’re worthy.

3. Love and relationships come before material possessions. Treasure your loved ones, always.

4. Sh*t happens, even when you do the right thing. Stop blaming yourself for everything.

5. Never give 100%. Save some for tomorrow. Also, sleep and fun are important, too.

6. Dream big (or small). But don’t forget to wake up and act on it.

7. Don’t take yourself seriously. Have a sense of humour, always. It keeps you sane during trying times.

8. It’s okay to dress up and get dolled up. Doing it doesn’t make you look less smart.

9. Find your space of tranquility–music, art, or else–and be really good in it. It’ll help finding your light during the darkest times.

10. Takes time to enjoy small things in life. And be grateful, always.

This little girl is me.

Why am I telling you this? I have never considered myself inspirational, but in recent years, I have felt increasingly compelled to encourage girls and young women to pursue a bright future of their own. The research found that 70% of girls feeling more confident about their futures after hearing stories from women role models.

Thank you for the invitation InspiringGirls. I am humble to add my story to #ThisLittleGirlIsMe campaign.


Saya ragu ketika diundang untuk berpartisipasi dalam kampanye #ThisLittleGirlIsMe ini, tapi berjanji pada mahasiswa2 di kelas bahwa saya akan ikut serta. Saya posting tulisan saya di sini, pada Hari Anak Perempuan International. Hari yang mengingatkan kita tentang perlunya mengatasi tantangan yang dihadapi anak perempuan & mempromosikan pemberdayaan dan pemenuhan hak asasi mereka.

:::

Gadis kecil di sebelah kiri suka membaca, berprestasi di sekolah, dan cemerlang dalam bidang matematika & sains. Namun dicap “nakal” karena sering melontarkan pertanyaan aneh, bersoloroh penuh canda, dan kadang bolos sekolah karena bosan (lalu kabur ke perpustakaan umum untuk membaca).

Gadis kecil ini suka menulis puisi, mengarang lagu, dan menggambar tanpa henti, untuk melarikan diri dari kenyataan hidup di Dayeuhkolot, Bandung-Indonesia. Terletak dekat salah satu sungai paling tercemar di dunia, di kawasan industri tekstil ini anak-anak menghadapi kemiskinan, penyakit kronis, kematian din, dan kekerasan. Di masa kecil, dia mengalami pelbagai bentuk kekerasan yang membuatnya merasa tak layak mendapatkan cinta dan kebahagiaan.

Gadis kecil ini seorang pemimpi. Meski sering meragukan kemampuannya sendiri dan tak yakin akan jalan yang harus ditempuh, dia tak pernah berhenti bermimpi. Tentang: tempat yang penuh kebahagiaan, kehidupan yang lebih baik, mengelilingi bumi, dicintai sepenuhnya, menjadi manusia berguna & membahagiakan orang lain.

Gadis kecil di sebelah kiri tumbuh menjadi wanita di sebelah kanan. Profesor dan Canada Research Chair, peneliti dan penulis, seniman visual, penyanyi yang bermusik, pejalan kaki, penjelajah dunia, penyintas kanker, dan penggemar tahu/tempe. Ya, dia tetap “nakal”.

Dia selalu merasa cukup dan yakin bahwa kehidupannya akan senantiasa menjadi lebih baik seiring bertambahnya usia. Di atas segalanya, dia sangat bersyukur berada di posisi yang dapat berkontribusi pada kesejahteraan, pertumbuhan, dan kesuksesan orang lain.

Gadis kecil ini belajar beberapa hal tentang kehidupan & kini berbagi 10 tips untuk gadis2 kecil lain:

1. Selalu bersikap dan berbuat baik, bahkan ketika hal tersebut sulit dilakukan.

2. Selalu menjadi diri sendiri. Kamu berharga.

3. Cinta dan persahabatan lebih penting dari harta benda. Selalu utamakan orang yang kau cintai.

4. Tragedi terjadi, bahkan ketika kamu melakukan hal yang benar. Berhentilah menyalahkan diri sendiri.

5. Tak perlu memberi 100%. Sisakan untuk hari esok. Tidur dan bermain juga penting.

6. Bermimpilah. Tapi jangan lupa untuk bangun & bertindak.

7. Selalu sediakan ruang untuk humor. Ia akan membantumu di masa-masa sulit.

8. Berdandan dan bersolek tidak membuatmu terlihat kurang pintar.

9. Temukan ruang kedamaianmu—bermusik, melukis, menari, dll—dan kuasailah. Ia akan menerangimu di masa-masa kelam.

10. Luangkan waktu untuk menikmati hal-hal kecil dalam kehidupan. Bersyukurlah senantiasa.

Gadis kecil ini adalah saya.

Mengapa saya berbagi tulisan ini? Saya tidak menganggap diri saya inspirasional tetapi saya telah terinspirasi untuk mendorong anak-anak perempuan untuk mengejar masa depan cerah mereka sendiri. Riset menemukan bahwa 70% anak perempuan merasa lebih percaya diri tentang masa depan mereka setelah mendengar langsung pengalaman wanita dewasa.

Terima kasih atas undangannya @inspiringgirlsint. Semoga sumbangan cerita saya ke dalam kampanye #ThisLittleGirlIsMe ini berguna.

THE REFLECTION BRIDGE

Ponte Vecchio, Firenze (Italy) – September 2001. I sketched this 20 years ago (and decided to colour it 19 weeks ago).

Once upon a time on the bridge of Vecchio …

I took this Italy trip after the Dutch police called me that I needed to leave the country by early October or otherwise I’d be deported. The full story is complicated, but in summary: my plan to pursue a PhD fell apart due to errors caused by the university’s administration (on a departmental level) and made worse by the Dutch’s immigration.

While walking along this bridge, I told myself that I’d be back to Europe to get that PhD.

I didn’t tell anybody this story, not even my parents and my best friends. And then lived in nomad, quite literally, all over the globe within the next 1.5 years; financially supporting myself with various freelance projects and fellowships. I came back to the Netherlands to start my PhD in 2003 with scholarship and completed it in 2005.

Thanks to the administrative and immigration screw-ups, I had not-so-easy yet interesting, colourful, and rich 1.5 years of nomad living.

It’s been twenty years …

12 April 2001 – 12 April 2021

Two decades ago, I packed my bag and took a trip to a faraway place, leaving Dayeuhkolot, a place where I grew up, my family and friends behind. What began as a 4-months excursion had turned into an exquisite journey of life.

Two decades is such a long time, I ended both of my 20s and my 30s during this journey. Not only I survived it, I thrived in this endeavour, thanks to the love and kindness of friends, colleagues, and strangers I met on the way.

I don’t know what the future holds. But I look forward to continuing the journey, if I am granted the luxury of time to do it. And hopefully still thrive in it, and wish to do so with love, kindness, passion, compassion, wit, and humour.

m in ottawa

Have yourself a merry ….

“From now on our troubles will be out of sight …

From now on our troubles will be miles away …

Through the years, we all will be together …

If the fates allow …”

We failed to make holiday cards this year, but here is our last minute attempt to combine a timelapsed sketch and an a cappella rendition of our favourite holidays song.

Merry Christmas. Selamat Natal.

Happy New Year. Selamat Tahun Baru.

Happy Holidays.

ottawa, dec 2020

Bubuy Bulan

“Bubuy Bulan” (trans. The Roasted Moon)

a traditional song from my hometown, in Sundanese, my mother tongue

Music: spontaneously sung and played on piano by yours truly in the evening of november 12th, 2020

Visual: papercut artwork by Jane Kurnadi💕 (who spontaneously and amazingly created it after listening to my playing, thanks Jane 😘).

I merged them and edited the video so they’re seamlessly blended to make the papercut version of me singing and playing the piano under the moonlight gaze.Enjoy!

… let the moon rise on the waters of your heart and I’ll play you a song about …. a roasted moon.

Bubuy Bulan is a somber love song. It tells a story of someone who is falling in love with a person who’s passing by every morning, but too shy/afraid to express it or even to ask that person, and can only imagine about being loved.”Bubuy” (Sundanese) is a cooking technique using fire woods, similar to ’ember roasting’ where you take full the heat of the embers. In this song, “bubuy bulan”—ember roasting of the moon—is poetically used to illustrate the feeling of being slowly burnt/consummated underneath a silent calm surface.

The roasted moon; toasted stars; the grilled sun.

They may sound weird in English, but in this Sundanese song, they are exquisitely accurate–visually, audibly, and emotionally—in expressing an associated feeling.

The Evolution of Intellectual Freedom

I’m presenting “The Evolution of Merlyna’s a Critical Monkey’s Intellectual Freedom” (bottom) 😆.

It was part of my last public lecture which basically attempted to provide an alternative imagination of possible career/life pathways. It’s my take vis-a-vis a (valid) critic of the state of intellectual freedom in academia by a brilliant Jorge Cham/PhD comic in 2011 (top). I think Cham’s is on point, but luckily his comic doesn’t apply to me.

~ eh, ini beneran lho dari slide kuliah umumku 😆 ~

I believe in (trying my best in) being curious, having fun, and staying critical. Also “naughty” — and becoming naughtier as I get older 🙈😋. And never stop to be really bothered by injustice–hey, a critical monkey can be really angry, too 🙊. No, never follow the “money” or the “safest” pathway. No, it’s not easy or smooth; sometimes you fail and/or people/institutions failed you, but speaking for myself and myself alone, I never and will never regret this choice. FYI, I am one of the lucky ones who survived academia and became a tenured professor several years ago by fully exercising my own freedom, doing research that I believed in. I hope to swing up-side-down while holding a banana when I am an emerita professor (if I ever become one someday) and grin satisfactorily when I RIP 😝😎.

~ aku katanya kelakuan mirip monyet, tapi ngga suka pisang sih 😆 ~

I made an initial drawing, then my talented artist-friend Rivi Rian đŸ˜đŸ„°đŸ˜ decorated it with beautiful viney leaves.

p.s. some grad students who took my class probably had seen this critical monkey appeared in their assignments 😁.

[Publication] Algorithmic Enclaves

“Algorithmic enclaves”. I introduced this term in my 2017 article “Freedom to Hate” — which was instantaneously coined during the Q&A after my talk in Stockholm earlier that year (thank you folks for asking me hard questions!)– but didn’t detail the concept yet. Having read that article, some supportive colleagues suggested me to write an essay solely about the concept, so I did. Here it is:

Lim, M. (2020). Algorithmic enclaves: Affective politics and algorithms in the neoliberal social media landscape.published in: M. Boler & E. Davis (eds.), Affective Politics of Digital Media: Propaganda by Other Means.

You can download a copy-proof version through the link below — which is a 100% copy of the final version. For some unexpected reasons, it was impossible for me to copyedit and copy proof this one; I hope it still reads well 😎.

https://bit.ly/32SpZ4j

[Publication] Dis/connection in the Global South

Just published:
Lim, M. (2020). The politics and perils of dis/connection in the Global South. Media, Culture & Society.
https://doi.org/10.1177/0163443720914032

Using empirical vignettes of repression against minority groups in the Global South, in this essay I introduce the term ‘dis/connection’ into the existing discourse on disconnection to illustrate how the interplay between connection and disconnection serves as a tactic and a technique of both repression and resistance.

The essay was written in its entirety during my visiting senior research fellowship in London at LSE in the Fall 2019. I thank LSE Southeast Asia for their support.

On International Women’s Day

March 8th is the International Women’s Day. On this day, I’m deeply honoured to be recognized alongside these 9 amazing women.

In my journey, from a little girl with red ribbons in Dayeuhkolot to who I am today, I am indebted to the generations of women before me who paved the way for all the opportunities women enjoy today. I am inspired by the remarkably brave and resilient women in my life who exist, resist, and persist, despite the patriarchy. I am proud of the next generation of women who challenge the status quo and fight for equal rights every single day.

Here’s to all extraordinary women I have had a privilege to know in my life, in Dayeuhkolot, Indonesia, Canada, and all over the world! 

https://newsroom.carleton.ca/story/honouring-women-leaders-researchers/

#IWD2020 #InternationalWomensDay #EachforEqual