[Inauguration] Turning we come round right
‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free,
‘Tis the gift to come down where you ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain’d,
To bow and to bend we shan’t be asham’d,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come round right.
– “Simple Gifts” 1848 Shaker song by Elder Joseph Brackett.
This morning, a day after the inauguration of President Barack Obama, is just a right time for me to reflect on the event. As a US resident, though I am not American citizen, and as a citizen of the world, it was just natural for me to be excited and attentive about yesterday’s historic event. At 11:56 a.m. yesterday before a record crowd estimated to be 2 million, 47-year-old Barack Obama placed his left hand on a Bible, raised his right hand and took the oath of office as president of the United States. It was a new day in America. It might as well be the beginning of new era in the world’s history, this we will wait and see.
Regardless what the administration will have achieved within four year, having Obama as the 44th President is a great achievement in itself. Through yesterday’s inauguration, we encounter not only a story of the first African-American president (though Obama is half-white). More complex than that, a story of Obama is an embodiment of complex narratives about immigration, social struggle, search-for-identity, and self-determination, among others.
While the whole inauguration itself was grandioso and the inaugural speech of Obama was very good — though not as quotable as those of Kennedy and others — and inspiring, one of some moments that captured my attention was the performance of John William’s composition “Air and Simple Gifts”. The piece itself, based on a 1848 Shaker song by Elder Joseph Brackett entitled “Simple Gifts”, was beautiful. But no less beautiful was the colorful scene behind the peaceful melodic tune. There were Itzhak Perlman, a Tel-Aviv born Israeli-American, on violin; Yo Yo Ma, a French-born Chinese-American, on cello; Gabriela Montero, a Venezuelan pianist (she is not American), and a young Afro-American clarinetist Anthony McGill.
Of course they were carefully and consciously selected to physically represent that American dream truly exists. And if one chose to be a combo of skeptic and cynic, this might just be seen as a mere mild propaganda of the United States of America as depicted in so many Hollywood movies. I, though am always a skeptic, could feel something genuine and truly touching about the scene. For these four musicians, along with Obama, epitomize not only the American dream — that seems to slip away these days — but also everybody’s dream to be anything they desire as long they earn what they want.
While I not nearly come to their great achievements, I, just like other million people of the world, I, too, can relate to the thick narrative crafted in Obama, Perlman, Ma, Montero and McGill’s stories.
Having Chinese last name, though I am less than 40% Chinese, I learned very early in my life — it was my third grade — that it was impossible for me to be a president of the Republic of Indonesia, since president and vice president should be ‘native’ Indonesian and apparently I am not ‘native’!. I don’t think I ever wanted to be the president, but the rule speaks more about an unequal opportunity that’s endorsed by the state through its constitution, and this rule has been leaking to so many socio-political dimensions within the country. The rule now is changed (new amendment revised this) though I not yet dare to hope for any real change in practice (yes, Immigration officers still ask for SBKRI, a certificate of Indonesian citizenship, for those WNI-keturunan, Indonesian citizens of –mostly Chinese– other descents).
Having a non-typical Chinese look, while I never stopped using Lim as my last name, there were moments in my life where I was tempted to use a single name Merlyna, to survive in a society, Indonesia, where people continuously and relentlessly connect you with your ethnicity and/or religion. Being and looking mixed, at young age, I faced a reality that people do judge you based on how you look, your color, your religion. In my salad days I had already found that my fair-but-not-quite-yellow-yet-not-really-brown skin and my not-so-slanted-yet-not-so-big eyes were problematic for some.
I remember that when I was about 6 years old, I walked in to a new school, a predominantly Chinese(Indonesian) school, and found out that a bunch of second grade kids didn’t want to make friends with me because according to them I did not look Chinese. They called me “tiko“.* That day I learned that I could not be Chinese.
Ten years later being a student at a public university my close friends were mostly non Chinese-Indonesians, yes they were called “native” (pribumi). But there were some ‘natives’ who did not want to be my friends just because I was Lim — regardless Sundanese, Javanese, and Dayaknese (among others!) blood in me — and did not look “native” enough and being a non-Muslim did not help! They called me “chokin” behind my back.
Oh, someone’s visual judgment indeed is correlated with their ideological judgment! So, yeah, I am neither native nor chinese enough! That year I swallowed a reality that “unity in diversity” was apparently only slogan.
Later in my life, things around me didn’t get better. One thing that got better was how I handled them. I chose not to conform to these judgments. I chose the path I wanted to travel. However, even with a PhD in hands, only three years ago I still had to say that in some societies and communities, you cannot be what you want to be and you cannot do what you want to do, no matter grand your ideas might be.
A bitter-sweet fact to face, months before formally being awarded a PhD, I was trying to get a job in Indonesia and failed to do so. Lucky me, I got a position at one of the most prestigious communication research centers in the world, the Annenberg. So, yes, I landed on the Uncle Sam’s land almost by accident. And a year after that, I became a professor at one American research university. Surely I have been super lucky to get these opportunities, but my point here is that these institutions didn’t judge me based on my ethnicity, religion, nor political orientation.
This doesn’t mean that I was totally rejected in my own country, the country was willing to embrace me for my PhD title, the problem was that I had to negotiate too much and had to change too much of who I am. So for the time being I choose to be here, in the United States, at least temporarily, not only because here I have a better chance to be who I want to be and to do what I want to do, but also because from here, ironically, I apparently can do more for Indonesia. I was hired for this professorship for my expertise and not for my Indonesian focus, but it was a conscious decision I took when I bravely negotiated with my directors and forced my institution to support me to do research on Indonesia.
My story is not a unique story. It is a story of millions migrants all over the world who had no or limited chances back home and found a land where they could be more or less accepted for who they are.
Indonesia is a great country that I love. But it has been slipped off to some pairs of not-so-great hands for sometime, and there’s still a long way for society to be cured from ingrained racial-ethnic-religious prejudices/stereotypes. This fact, however, will not impede me from hoping and dreaming, that one day, we will come to that turn. To turn, turn will be our delight, by turning, turning we come round right.
* tiko and chokin both are derogatory terms, the first is used by Chinese-Indonesians and Chinese Malays for ‘the natives’ (pribumi or bumi putera) and the second is by the natives for Chinese
This posting is dedicated to my best friends from PSM-ITB (ITB student choir) who never considered race, religion, and political views as barriers in our friendship.
Like Obama’s speech, your post moves my heart.
Humans are creatures who love and hate. Unfortunately, like you said, leaders of our countries have yet succeeded in maintaining prejudices between races etc to a good level. Indonesia and the USA are both melting pots, too bad they are not comparable in many ways.
I read somewhere that Pak Harto was actually half Chinese. Said that he was actually born from a Chinese tauke who impregnated a Javanese servant. Bener ngga sih?
mer: thanks, Shanti… right, the problem is leaders/powerful people like to take advantages from these prejudices… about Suharto, i heard a similar story but don’t know for sure, but psychologically it does makes sense… his awkward and difficult relationship (hate-love) with Chinese explained that.
Thank you for writing this, mer, i’ve been waiting for this story of yours. very touching, yet makes me sad about indonesia.
mer: you’re most welcome, ran. yeah, i’d been wanting to write this sometime ago, but hesitated.. not an easy topic.
mer, as usual, your story is very touching. Indonesians have big problems on judging others, despite the fact that the amandment has been revised. the native itself has a vague meaning.
Yang bikin gua surprised mer, di kampus masih banyak ternyata yg nggak mau temenan ama lu hanya krn mereka nganggap lu ‘chokin’? terrible, I didn’t know about that.
Anyway, it’s good for you to keep your name ‘Lim’. mengingat banyaknya masalah administratif yg dihadapi warga ‘keturunan’.
mer: thanks, Rin. cerita gue soal anak2 itb yg bilang ‘chokin’ itu terjadi pertama kali, gue masih ingat lho, di LFM, pas kelas kimia… dan yg bilang itu anak AR. i am happy that i had a chance to know and learn about differences and similarities from you (and our other close friends) at psm. the choir was great, but outside that organization, even at itb there were some ‘students’ who were close-minded. thanks for the friendship.
i never thought that u are half chinese or dayak, til u said so.For me, u r still a sunda gelo where i can practice my sunda kasar. Hahaha. Thanks 4 being ‘you’ and keep it!
mer: haha… thanks… don’t worry, i cannot be other thing but ‘sunda gelo’ :p
Hope & Virtue in America, the land of opportunity
Hope that Indonesia will also transform into the land of Opportunity too
I also wonder the role of the parents, teacher also religious (local) leader in stereotyping and educating the children dealing with race & religion.
mer: parents, teachers, religious leaders, politicians… media, yes, they all play significant roles….
Dear Merlyn,
Biasanya kamu tertawa getir ttg hal ini. Syukurlah ada Obama. Jadinya kamu bisa mengumpat akan kenyataan ini.
mer: haha…. thanks Dhi… ya, thanks to Obama, bisa mengumpat
apa kabar dirimu?
A superb post. Starting with the inauguration, but actually dealing with major themes of our times: minorities, identities, migration. Yours is a story to prove the personal is not only political, but the political can be personal also.
You really moved me. The story of your life is one to be proud of – because it’s the result, not of luck, but of effort, perseverance and self confidence. And not to put up with or give in to the circumstances and conditions.
As for Indonesia, I share your hopes. Inequalities are injustices. Wherever they occur – in Asia, the US or Europe- all people of good will, decent attitudes and in the position to do so should fight them. Organized or individually.
It may still take quite a while unfortunately till discrimination has been banned from the (Indonesian) society though – the Jews in Europe had to live through centuries of pogroms and the Holocaust before all out integration was possible and North Africans seem to have their turn now of being frowned upon by the majorities; the Blacks of the US, in spite of Obama, have – 1,5 century after the abolition of slavery – not yet reached equal opportunities in the US. Not even close.
Yet, I hope I can manage to share your state of mind: sceptical not cynical.
Oh, by the way this is what I wanted to say: I admire you.
mer: thanks, Colson. you’re right, it’ll take sometime. it’s seems that human being loves to problematize a small tiny cosmetic modification such as outer look… and religion rather than many much bigger problems in the world… histories say so. btw, the admiration is mutual. as i mentioned somewhere before, i admire your selfless personality in dealing with others (and in reading my blog :p), as well as your humane outlook of the world… not to mention you get my humor (that’s a big plus, hehe).
salam.
hi mba mer, so what will you do, facing this problem in our country? they are many people whose minds are still narrow. do you want to change their mind ? i think it is difficult but not necessarily impossible. i think, the problem could rely on economy situation in our country, indonesia. there is great gap between the have and the have not.
anyway, i am still happy that you still can contribute for indonesia. yes it is our land that we love.
great from you.
yadi
m: i do what i can do… i promised myself to fight for racism and injustice anywhere and in anyway i can… so i will. but it’s just a tiny dot on the ocean…. we need many… nobody can change the country but the people of that land themselves.
wow, God made something special when he made ur dna. u r quite unique and amazzing. i wouldntworry about others name calling, u r tough stuff
. just be who u r and the rest will follow.
mer, yes. we have a dream, one day, we will not be judged by the skin of our color, and that we all can give to our contry we all love, without reservation.
mer: right, everybody should have that dream… love, for me, is always there, without reservation… though. love… it covers things, indeed…
teh, lagi” pengalaman yang mirip. Having the same last name and not even 50% of Chinese blood inside! I’ve been through the same experience, going to this Catholic school (most of the students are Chinese), and for the first time knowing the word “tiko”, even being banned from one of my friend’s house because of her parents didn’t want her to be friends with me. Sobs sobs. To make it more sad, my Lim name also didn’t make me mingle easily with the non chinese kids. Talking about not belong anywhere, hahaha…and even in one job interview in Jakarta, the boss asked me: Lim? But you don’t look like a Chinese!
But truly, the experiences put some spices into my life…and stories to tell to my future kids (who, if I think about that, will have a mixture of Bataknese-Chinese-Dutch-Javanese and Ambonese blood..hahaha)
Thanks for sharing teh.
mer: haha… what a coincidence, same last name, similar problem though we look different… (but hey, both of us can be easily Hispanic — from two different villages, haha). thanks for sharing, Astrid….. your story confirms how society generally looks at our physical outlook…. and ethnicity… on top of who we really are. but yes, i don’t complain, the experience is priceless!!!
I can relate to your feeling, Mer.
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